At a very early age, it is VITAL to open up the lines of communication with your children. If you don’t do this when they’re young….then why would you expect them to come running to you when they’re older? If your child feels they that cannot come to you for advise, or questions they have or are able to admit to you when they’ve done wrong….I DO NOT believe it’s the childs fault.
A child should have a healthy amount of ‘fear’ when it comes to the consequences of their wronged actions. They know that being disciplined is not fun, neither is dissappointing someone you love. But a child should NOT be scared of their parent….so scared they they rather keep it in or tell someone else, rather than talk to you. If you yell at them and call them names….I can almost guarantee that they won’t come to you again. Or, if they do…they’re going to tell half truths so as not to get yelled and screamed at again.
I know it is hard sometimes. You have the stresses of everyday life, too. I get it. But it is our job to teach and install, in our little ones, to know whats right and wrong. They need to know they are going to make mistakes….we all do. Not any of us are perfect. That they can learn from these mistakes. That they can come to us (the parents) to help them see what they should have or shouldn’t have done. How they can fix the situation or what better path they can take, if something would to happen again. They should, also, know that any discipline we would have to give them, will be out of love. Love for them. NOT out of anger. Screaming, yelling, calling them names (yes, even ‘stupid’) is just NOT acceptable. This is called verbal abuse/assault. Yes, abuse. Assault. It is THAT serious.
“Not every adult can manage the sometimes overwhelming job of being a parent. When parents yell, blame, curse at their kids, and punish it’s usually because they are terribly insecure or they didn’t have good role models for parenting themselves.” ~ says Dr. Marie whom is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Check out her website at ParentAdvisor.net, follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
Berating, belittling, criticizing, name calling, screaming, threatening
Excessive blaming, and using sarcasm and humiliation.
Blowing your flaws out of proportion and making fun of you in front of others. Over time, this type of abuse erodes your sense of self confidence and self-worth. ~ Letters from the Unloved: The Hidden World of Teen Depression
Please, take the time out of your day to sit down and explain the importance of communication between you and your child(ren).