Bathroom Break – DENIED

Would you let your child get up and go to the restroom if they were in the middle of doing their homework?  Or how about, if you were all eating dinner…would you let them go then?  Most of you would probably say, ‘Of course!’ You may tell them to hurry up and do whatever it is that needs to be done first and then go….but you wouldn’t deny them the right to go to the bathroom if they needed to.  Now what about this question:  What if your child was in the care of another and THEY denied your child the right to use the restroom.  How would THAT make you feel?

That is what some teachers and schools are doing today.  They are ‘charging’ the children or just completely denying your child from going to the restroom.  I’m NOT kidding.  Let me tell you what happened to my son and to my niece….

Last week, my child came home and told me that he was tardy for his 5th period class because he had to go to the restroom so bad, he couldn’t hold it any longer.  I, probably with a question mark literally hanging above my head, asked him why he waited so long before he went.

‘I didn’t have time before 4th period to go.’

I stood there, confused for about a minute before I asked him, ‘Soooo, did you hold it through your WHOLE 4th period?’

As he nodded, of course, I blurted out my next question, ‘Why didn’t you just go DURING 4th period?’

His reply turned my confusion into questioning myself, who exactly ARE these ‘people’ who are supervising my children for 8 hours a day.

‘She gets mad and yells at us when we ask to go. She tells us that we should have went before class started. Mom.  I don’t have TIME to go before her class! I have to stop at my locker, drop off {2nd and 3rd period} books and grab my other {two} books {for my next two classes}.  The halls crowded and I just make it on time as it is! I don’t have time to go!’

By this time, my head is burning up and a million questions (that I’m NOT about to ask my child) are sprinting through my head.

‘Why wouldn’t she let her students go to the bathroom? If she had to get the kids started, why wouldn’t she just ask them to wait for a couple minutes and then let them go?  And, of course, why the hell is this teacher, this person whom I do not even know, yelling at my child??  And not just yelling at him, but yelling at him because he has to …… pee??

It took a lot, and I mean A LOT to calmly tell my son that she was probably busy, with other things on her mind and didn’t mean to actually yell at him. But, he simply shook his head and walked away.

From then on, I’ve been helping 3 children with homework, cleaning, cooking, doing the laundry, etc. The weekend came and went in a blink of an eye. And, when Monday came back around, the week started repeating itself again…..homework, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc.  Until today, that is.

Today, as soon as my child came home from school, he told me that this {same} teacher told the class today, that she is not letting any more children go to the restroom during her class. Shocked is one word I could use. Pissed, irate….those are a couple more words.

There is NO way that I am allowing someone to tell my child when he is allowed to go to the restroom.  Not a chance.  I get it…I do.  I’m thinking kids are always asking her and, maybe, some got caught fooling around in the hallways or something, but do I care?  No.  Should all the children be punished for another childs action? Never.

At this point, I grab a piece of paper and a pen that’s nearest to me and start my letter to this….teacher:

Yesterday (she’ll get it tomorrow so…), {my son} came home and told me that you told the entire class that you are no longer letting your students go to the bathroom while in your class.  I don’t know what the ‘situation’ was that happened that made you decide something like that, but whatever it was, it is not fair to the other children. I understand that you want the children to use the restroom between classes, but, sometimes, it’s something that can not be helped. I put my children in the care of their schools for 8 hours a day.  I would never deny my child the right to use the restroom.  Nor, will I allow ANYONE else, I don’t care who they are, to raise their voice or tell my child NO when he asks to go. I told {my son}, that if he has to go to the restroom and can not hold it, to politely tell you and excuse himself.  

~ Mrs. Brewer

P.S. …..If a child is repeatedly asking to go to the restroom, simply send a note home to their parents and let them know.  Maybe, the parents are not aware.  Tell them that you’re concerned with the childs health and if this continues on a daily basis, you’d appreciate a doctor’s note to continue excusing him from class ….Or, something like that.

Now, for my sisters story about how they manage bathroom breaks in her children’s school.  Her younger 5 children go to Rock Island Academy in Rock Island, IL……which is an elementary school. They are given $500 of ‘fake cash’ at the beginning of the school year.  Any more money that they get throughout the year has to be earned.  If they have to go to the restroom during class, they are charged $500 and if they’re late for class, they are charged $1000.  They are put into groups, and if one student in a group goes into a negative, the group as a whole, gets punished.  The severity of the punishment has to do with how negative ones account gets…..from sitting out of recess for 10 minutes to after school time.

Before you form your opinion, though, let me tell you this.  They get only 3 minutes in between classes.  Now, my sister actually timed herself going to the bathroom.  From shutting the door, unbuttoning, pulling down her pants, doing what needs to be done, pulling them back up and re-buttoning.  This took her 2 minutes.  This doesn’t include walking to the bathroom and walking back to class, let alone washing their hands!  So, not only do the children, most likely, not wash their hands, but are afraid to be late and get into trouble by the teacher and make the other children in the group angry for getting them in trouble as well!  All for using the restroom!!!! It Is RiDiCuLoUs!  

Please, ask your children about their bathroom priviledges that they get at school and put a stop to this.  No child should live in FEAR of getting in trouble for asking or going to the restroom and being late to class.

If you didn’t know, these are the complications you may have from holding your urine: The ureters, the tubes that feed from each kidney to the bladder, don’t have valves to prevent reverse flow. If your bladder gets too full, the fluid can back up into the kidneys, leading to potentially serious medical issues. Kidneys work by a pressure differential system involving a fine network of capillaries and tubules, and fluid backup will make them less effective at filtering your blood. Depending on how high the back pressure gets, your kidneys could be damaged. The area at greatest risk is the kidney’s central collection region, the pelvis and calyces, which may become dilated, a condition called hydronephrosis. Another risk from high bladder pressure is kidney infection due to bacteria forced up from below, called pyelonephritis.

As you can see, and this, of course, is not always the case, but ‘holding it’ CAN cause health problems.  It is NOT a myth.


Last year, I also wrote a letter to the truancy officer that I’ll share with you, also.  You may have read it on my Facebook, but, if not, I’ll copy and paste it to a blog on here.  There are many issues at school that we may be concerned with.  We have to speak up.  Maybe, in your OWN way…..but it’s something we, as parents, NEED to do.  Children spend more time at school than at home during the week and we need to be more aware of what goes on when they’re not under our supervision.


One thought on “Bathroom Break – DENIED

  1. I understand. I would be upset, too. And as a teacher it is hard. Have you ever seen the whole class have to go to the bathroom one after the other, every single student, every single day? It gets to be a game and no learning is taking place.
    Another issue that is irritating – they are so rushed through lunch they hardly eat… and there is barely a recess time.

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